kathyrad has interesting thoughts.

DOES THIS MOMMA EVEN LOVE HER BABY?

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 17:35:03 -0500

this is a CHICKEN on top of a PUPPY! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THIS?

why is ross rachel's brother?

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 15:13:00 -0500

why is ross rachel's brother?:

HI MY NAME IS KATHY AND I READ DISTURBING RAPE-FANTASY FANFICTION ABOUT THE TV SHOW FRIENDS.

I think your BBT rant was exceptional and entirely accurate. Bravo!

Thu, 08 Dec 2011 19:29:32 -0500

thank you, kind stranger. i’m glad to see that someone else understands and not everyone is a loving-big-bang-theory fucktard.

"It’s Thursday! Do something nice for someone else for once, shithead."

Thu, 01 Dec 2011 21:15:22 -0500

“It’s Thursday! Do something nice for someone else for once, shithead.”

- Joey Comeau (via thoughshesfeminine)

Just so you know... you're either a troll or an idiot. Quite possibly, you're both.

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 09:31:06 -0500

i’m guessing my big bang theory rant is what this is about, so i will answer you with this: you are a fake, pretentious, uninteresting moron for liking that show. you have horrible taste and i hope i never have to meet you.

and considering that i don’t know anything about you, but you write fanfiction… ew… i’d say i hit the nail on the head.

It's Roommates Day and This is What I'm Doing

Tue, 29 Nov 2011 21:59:09 -0500

cayte and i are watching big bang theory. does anyone smart actually like this show? i feel like it’s watered down, veiled scientific terms and ideas thrown around that have no meaning to the conversations and issues that they’re having, and it’s just fucking so dumbass people can look at this show and be like, “I UNDERSTAND THAT STRING THEORY IS A SCIENCE-Y THING. I HAVE HEARD OF THIS THEORY BEFORE. THESE ACTORS JUST REFERENCED SOMETHING THAT I’VE HEARD BEFORE AND LOOK HOW FUCKING SMART I AM.”

and they’re not.

the physics that they throw around is meaningless. the writers just put it in because they need to beat you over the head with the fact that these are ‘scientists’ who work for a ‘university’. its useless. fucking ridiculously useless. i beg you, to please please please, find a scene in big bang theory where their use of scientific jargon is warranted. i will give you a fucking sticker if you do.

HAHAHA IT’S CALLED BIG BANG THEORY BECAUSE WE LIVE IN THE UNIVERSE. LOOK HOW FUCKING AWESOME AND OBSERVANT AND GENIUSY I AM.

all of the dialogue is regular conversational terms that a bunch of morons decided needed to be weighed down with complex vocabulary that doesn’t change the meaning of the sentence at all. say it once and say it well, mother fuckers. you don’t need all of that. cut that shit out and the show would be 1/3 as long. AND THEN MAYBE I COULD STAND WATCHING THIS PATHETIC BULLSHIT.

if you like the story or characters, i would ask you why… but i would understand that. if you try to tell me that you need to understand science or physics or something retarded like that, i will spit in your lying face. BECAUSE YOU ARE A LIAR. you do NOT need to know ANYTHING about ANYTHING to get this show. BECAUSE THE SCIENCE IS POINTLESS. IT WAS MADE FOR IDIOTS AND PRETENTIOUS DOUCHES WHO DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT ANYWAY.

and the characters suck. what is wrong with leonard’s face? why is he always looking up? who broke his neck?

i dare you, challenge me at this.

seriously, challenge me.

i would love that. I CAN TAKE YOU.

Should I... Should I Name It?

Wed, 20 Jul 2011 23:53:00 -0400

there has been a tab from a pepsi can in my bed for several days. i drank a soda on monday and mindlessly bent the poor thing off of the top of the can and it hasn’t made it any further than this. i don’t know if i should be bothered that it’s there, or more by my lack of concern for sleeping with a little piece of metal in my sheets.

i’m pleased to say that this pop top just lives with me now.

for years, and i mean YEARS, i was convinced that this show did...

Mon, 18 Jul 2011 23:01:00 -0400

for years, and i mean YEARS, i was convinced that this show did not exist and that i had made it all up in my mind. something about that frog is exactly reminiscent of the kind of strange childhood nightmares i used to get so i just assumed i had created it. now that i know that it would be appropriate to have cherished memories of gullah gullah island, i will.

i am so tv obsessed. i also used to dream of fresh prince episodes that i had seen; subconscious repeating them over and over in dreamland…

we do have the same... name?

Mon, 18 Jul 2011 15:07:00 -0400

someone told me recently that i look, “like Kate Middleton, but fatter.” which is a TOTALLY appropriate thing to say to a stranger that you have never met before and is not at all, in any way, considered insulting or mean or rude to anyone ever in the history of the fucking world.

nevertheless, i answered with a big thank you because i think it’s kind of exciting that someone thinks i look even a little like a princess and it’s much better than what people at work usually say to me. (“has anyone ever told you that you look just like Ashley on real housewives of new jersey?”) and i read an article in the enquirer recently that said that kate middleton is anorexic or bulimic or the queen is skeptic that she’s even human because she’s too thin to even stand, or something the like. being fatter than her really isn’t a stretch… is what i’m getting at.

this is my celebrity doppleganger now:

looks just like me if i pressed my smiling face against a glass window.

One of My Ears is Higher Than the Other

Fri, 15 Jul 2011 00:20:00 -0400

when i was little, i was at the doctor with my brother when i picked up a medical replica of the human face showing it’s sinuses and nasal passages. one of the eyes was bigger than the other, making the face just a little bit lopsided. being the tiny hard-ass that i was, i pointed out the flaws of the model to the doctor, who replied, “no one’s face is completely symmetrical; it’s always flawed. even your face isn’t perfect.”

a regular child would probably have absorbed this information and purposed it for some kind of “imperfections make us all beautiful” life lesson, but i didn’t. i was horrified. and i think that it cursed me. everything in my life is ruined by the knowledge that perfection is unattainable because our faces are malformed. i think that i have a phobia of one of my limbs growing larger than the other. i’m a special brand of woody allen neurotic.

in light of this, i'm going out to buy red and white paint.

Wed, 06 Jul 2011 13:54:00 -0400

in light of this, i'm going out to buy red and white paint.:

POKEMON IRL. OPENS MY EYES.

"A general feeling of apprehension is a human experience, sure, but I’d got my share of that..."

Sun, 03 Jul 2011 17:27:55 -0400

“A general feeling of apprehension is a human experience, sure, but I’d got my share of that one already. What about terror and guilt and fear and excitement? What if I died without ever realizing that I was going to die?”

- Joey Comeau, Overqualified

okay… cayte is right. julie andrews is so very beautiful.

Sat, 02 Jul 2011 23:19:00 -0400

okay… cayte is right.

julie andrews is so very beautiful.

I HATE FIREWORKS

Sat, 02 Jul 2011 22:50:00 -0400

they’re so loud and inappropriate and illegal and all of them look the fucking same. i cannot understand how, every weekend in this hick ass town, people can light them off at random intervals until 4 a.m. and never grow bored. i’m stuck nursing my nervous dog until they all get too drunk and pass out, or someone blows their hand off… again. TO EVERYONE THAT LOVES FIREWORKS:

and you can hate on me for hating on you if you happen to love fireworks. just have some decency for people who don’t want to hear their dog barking and destroying everything they hold dear. she already broke my only working fan and it’s so damn hot.

I Need to Pay More Attention to the Commandments.

Sat, 02 Jul 2011 15:27:53 -0400

all i could think about during work today was, “TALK SHIT, GET HIT.” and i have no idea why. just those words repeating in my head over and over. and i’m not even fighting with anyone and haven’t in a long time.

this has nothing to do with it being friday, either.

Fri, 01 Jul 2011 19:52:00 -0400

i hate that every time i think about waking up, i immediately think, “7 am waking up in the morning.” i almost never wake up at 7 am, but i say it without noticing now.

I Hate Michael Chapman, Wherever He Is

Thu, 30 Jun 2011 13:22:46 -0400

every few months over the past five years, i’ve gotten phone calls from people looking for Michael Chapman. here is how the most recent one went:

Me: Hello?

Lady: Hello I’m looking for Michael Chapman. I’m [blah blah] from [blah blah blahhhh’s] attorney office. I need to speak to Michael-

Me: Oh, I’m sorry. You have the wrong number.

Lady: Are you sure?

Me: Yes. This is not Michael’s number.

Lady: Let me just clarify, this number is [467812412846148924681264]?

Me: Yes, it is. But there’s no one here with that name. This is my cell phone.

Lady: Are you sure?

Me: Yes. I’m a nineteen year old girl in New Jersey. This is definitely not Michael’s number. Look, this guy has been giving my number out for years. Whenever you see him, can you tell him to stop? Ask him his real number, because your office has been calling me for like four years now.

then she got mad and hung up.

i am queen of laughing too hard. the longer i am alive, the more...

Wed, 29 Jun 2011 23:27:32 -0400

i am queen of laughing too hard. the longer i am alive, the more i will love the ponies.

nicholas cage obviously teaches acting lessons to ponies about...

Wed, 29 Jun 2011 23:21:04 -0400

nicholas cage obviously teaches acting lessons to ponies about how to react when things go wrong. HE’S A FUCKING BABY DRAGON HOW DO YOU THINK IT GOT BURNED, SPARKLE ASS.

Wobbles (BEST.CAT.EVER.)

Wed, 22 Jun 2011 23:32:00 -0400

there’s a cat that i found a picture of in an advertiser for animal shelters. it’s a male, orange kitty with the feline equivalent of cerebral palsy. they describe him as having “trouble with coordination, balance, and unintentional movements,” and his name is Wobbles. what a bad ass cat. i’m two seconds away from driving to newark and adopting him.

I’VE NEVER WANTED ANYTHING SO BAD IN MY LIFEEEE