kathyrad has interesting thoughts.

DOES THIS MOMMA EVEN LOVE HER BABY?

this is a CHICKEN on top of a PUPPY! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THIS?

It’s Roommates Day and This is What I’m Doing

cayte and i are watching big bang theory. does anyone smart actually like this show? i feel like it’s watered down, veiled scientific terms and ideas thrown around that have no meaning to the conversations and issues that they’re having, and it’s just fucking so dumbass people can look at this show and be like, “I UNDERSTAND THAT STRING THEORY IS A SCIENCE-Y THING. I HAVE HEARD OF THIS THEORY BEFORE. THESE ACTORS JUST REFERENCED SOMETHING THAT I’VE HEARD BEFORE AND LOOK HOW FUCKING SMART I AM.” 

and they’re not.

the physics that they throw around is meaningless. the writers just put it in because they need to beat you over the head with the fact that these are ‘scientists’ who work for a ‘university’. its useless. fucking ridiculously useless. i beg you, to please please please, find a scene in big bang theory where their use of scientific jargon is warranted. i will give you a fucking sticker if you do.

HAHAHA IT’S CALLED BIG BANG THEORY BECAUSE WE LIVE IN THE UNIVERSE. LOOK HOW FUCKING AWESOME AND OBSERVANT AND GENIUSY I AM. 

all of the dialogue is regular conversational terms that a bunch of morons decided needed to be weighed down with complex vocabulary that doesn’t change the meaning of the sentence at all. say it once and say it well, mother fuckers. you don’t need all of that. cut that shit out and the show would be 1/3 as long. AND THEN MAYBE I COULD STAND WATCHING THIS PATHETIC BULLSHIT.

if you like the story or characters, i would ask you why… but i would understand that. if you try to tell me that you need to understand science or physics or something retarded like that, i will spit in your lying face. BECAUSE YOU ARE A LIAR. you do NOT need to know ANYTHING about ANYTHING to get this show. BECAUSE THE SCIENCE IS POINTLESS. IT WAS MADE FOR IDIOTS AND PRETENTIOUS DOUCHES WHO DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT ANYWAY.

and the characters suck. what is wrong with leonard’s face? why is he always looking up? who broke his neck?

i dare you, challenge me at this. 

seriously, challenge me.

i would love that. I CAN TAKE YOU.

Should I… Should I Name It?

there has been a tab from a pepsi can in my bed for several days. i drank a soda on monday and mindlessly bent the poor thing off of the top of the can and it hasn’t made it any further than this. i don’t know if i should be bothered that it’s there, or more by my lack of concern for sleeping with a little piece of metal in my sheets.

i’m pleased to say that this pop top just lives with me now.

we do have the same… name?

someone told me recently that i look, “like Kate Middleton, but fatter.” which is a TOTALLY appropriate thing to say to a stranger that you have never met before and is not at all, in any way, considered insulting or mean or rude to anyone ever in the history of the fucking world.

nevertheless, i answered with a big thank you because i think it’s kind of exciting that someone thinks i look even a little like a princess and it’s much better than what people at work usually say to me. (“has anyone ever told you that you look just like Ashley on real housewives of new jersey?”) and i read an article in the enquirer recently that said that kate middleton is anorexic or bulimic or the queen is skeptic that she’s even human because she’s too thin to even stand, or something the like. being fatter than her really isn’t a stretch… is what i’m getting at.

this is my celebrity doppleganger now:

looks just like me if i pressed my smiling face against a glass window.

One of My Ears is Higher Than the Other

when i was little, i was at the doctor with my brother when i picked up a medical replica of the human face showing it’s sinuses and nasal passages. one of the eyes was bigger than the other, making the face just a little bit lopsided. being the tiny hard-ass that i was, i pointed out the flaws of the model to the doctor, who replied, “no one’s face is completely symmetrical; it’s always flawed. even your face isn’t perfect.”

a regular child would probably have absorbed this information and purposed it for some kind of “imperfections make us all beautiful” life lesson, but i didn’t. i was horrified. and i think that it cursed me. everything in my life is ruined by the knowledge that perfection is unattainable because our faces are malformed. i think that i have a phobia of one of my limbs growing larger than the other. i’m a special brand of woody allen neurotic.

I HATE FIREWORKS

they’re so loud and inappropriate and illegal and all of them look the fucking same. i cannot understand how, every weekend in this hick ass town, people can light them off at random intervals until 4 a.m. and never grow bored. i’m stuck nursing my nervous dog until they all get too drunk and pass out, or someone blows their hand off… again. TO EVERYONE THAT LOVES FIREWORKS:

and you can hate on me for hating on you if you happen to love fireworks. just have some decency for people who don’t want to hear their dog barking and destroying everything they hold dear. she already broke my only working fan and it’s so damn hot.

I Need to Pay More Attention to the Commandments.

all i could think about during work today was, “TALK SHIT, GET HIT.” and i have no idea why. just those words repeating in my head over and over. and i’m not even fighting with anyone and haven’t in a long time.